Attachment Turns Love Into Property

Attachment starts in innocence.

That small sigh that says:

“I’ve got my person. I’m safe now.”

But that’s the moment love begins to fall asleep.

Because the second you “claim” someone,

you stop discovering them.

You stop being curious.

You stop growing.

And when they begin to change — as every soul does —

your body tightens.

Not because love left,

but because your conditioning mistakes change for danger.

We were taught to want our partners predictable, familiar, known.

But here’s the deeper truth:

Love cannot survive where you stop seeing each other.

Monogamy isn’t the issue.

The ownership mindset is.

Trying to hold your partner still is the fastest way to lose them.

Routines become autopilot.

Autopilot becomes absence.

Absence becomes the slow death of intimacy.

You didn’t lose the spark.

You fell into unconscious habit.

Love doesn’t want safety.

Love wants presence.

Desire wants aliveness.

Intimacy wants two people willing to meet each other without armor.

The opposite of passion isn’t predictability —

it’s not being here.

Touching someone you no longer feel.

Asking questions you think you already know the answers to.

Living with a partner you stopped seeing long ago.

Mystery doesn’t need to be manufactured.

Your partner is changing every day.

Life keeps sculpting them.

You just have to stay awake enough to notice.

Meet them like you’ve never met them before. A beginner’s mind. A lover’s eyes. As if God is hiding behind their eyes.

And don’t forget:

your clinging has a shadow.

The fear underneath.

The child in you who once lost love and vowed never to feel that pain again.

But love isn’t held through control.

Love is held through presence.

So the real work is simple:

Let them change. Let yourself change. Stop trying to hold each other still.

Drop the ownership.

Drop the scripts.

Drop the idea that certainty keeps you safe.

Choose curiosity.

Choose presence.

Choose to see who this person is becoming

and reveal who you are becoming too.

That is intimacy.

That is devotion.

That is love awake.

Love only stays alive in the unknown

and only if you’re brave enough to meet each other there.